The secret of my success

We are all looking for that one magical answer! We all want that secret that will provide us with success right now. We strive to find the formula that will yield results and transform our lives.  We look and we fail to find it. Why?

Doesn’t it exist?

Are successful people just lucky?

Is it all a matter of chance?


There is a secret to success. There is one thing that we can begin doing that will set us on the road to success today.

We can change our words.

That is it. We can simply change the way we speak.

Doesn’t that answer suck?

All successes, all changes begin because of the words we choose to use. Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Malcolm X, John F. Kennedy and even Barrack Obama and Donald Trump were successful because of their words. Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and Evel Knievel were successful due to the way they spoke, not just to others but to themselves. They understood the transformative power of words.

“I have a Dream…”

“We have nothing to fear but fear itself…”

“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything…”

“Where there is little risk there is little reward…”

“Yes we can!”

These words have ignited firestorms of change throughout the world.  But what about our own ability to ignite a similar change in ourselves and improve our own personal lives?  No billionaire, sports star or famous Hollywood actor succeeded because they said “I might not be able to do this”.

Success begins with the words we use today! We have to begin to change our habitual use of vocabulary, and our own inner dialogue to match the success we want.  The problem most of us have is that we do not choose our words intentionally; we ride the flow of whatever emotion is predominate and find the words to match. If we want to be successful we must shift our speech, it must become intentional.

Martin Luther King Jr. did not ignite the civil rights movement with words like “I don’t think we deserve this but…” No, he said “I have a dream.” Elon Musk didn’t found a billion dollar empire by saying “I don’t think this will work.” Evel Knievel didn’t set stunt records by saying “I can’t possibly do this.”

They all spoke the language of success.  Your success starts with the words you choose to describe your life.

Does your life suck? Are you lonely? Are you a failure? Do you let people down? If you have answered yes, then welcome to your unsuccessful life. Wow that’s harsh. But it is true. The way you choose to describe your life is the way your life is. The words we attach to our experiences actually become our experiences. Want to be a miserable asshole? Keeping using words that describe the life lived by a miserable asshole. Want to begin to live a different life than describe your life differently.

Now this is not to say that there is not a lot of hard work that will have to take place to change and be successful, but if you can’t even change our language what makes you think you will be able to do the hard work necessary to be successful.  The problem with success, as we stated from the start, is that we are looking for that one magical thing that will catapult us into the life we want without us having to do too much of anything. The problem with success is that it is not easy and that we are impatient.

No one becomes a world famous billionaire over night. No one becomes a world class violinist in one day. No one finds peace and contentment by meditating for one week. It takes effort and time. I am surprise how often people say I want to be a great basketball player. Then the go out and practice every day for four months and quit! FOUR MONTHS? Did they really thing they would achieve greatness in four months? Impatience is why many of you reading this have already given up your New Years Eve resolution.

“One month in, no success, must not be going to happen.”  Does that inner monologue sound familiar?

We need to stop making New Year’s Resolutions and make January 24th resolutions or November 18th resolutions. We need to make today resolutions and have patience that the hard work and effort will breed success because it will. Success is not a “now” sort of thing.

If you want to be successful, change your words and develop patience. Blindfold yourself to you endgame. Right now in this moment, blind yourself to your end result. The end doesn’t matter. The end result will happen however it will happen depending on the words you use and work you do now.  Focus on now!

What is your dream? Think about it. Really think about it. How many times have you dreamt this dream, imagined yourself achieving this dream, feel intimately what you think it will feel like when you succeed?

Have you achieved that dream?

Are you living the life you want right now?

Why aren’t you?

It is mostly like because you have found the words to use that have made it impossible. “I have responsibilities at work.” “I don’t have enough money.” “It would be irresponsible.” “I can’t do that.” These kill our dreams; it rots the fruit of our success before it has a chance to ripen on the vine.

We have to shift our minds and our words to reflect the dream we want. We have to shift the perspective of ourselves to change ourselves. Too easy is it to self-depreciate and bash our selves. Too easy is it to only see the negative in our lives. Our society breeds this. We have to have an intentional shift in the way we speak about our lives but more importantly ourselves. We are not failure we are just people that haven’t achieved our success yet.

If you want to shift your life, if you want shift your decisions and actions, shifting you emotional relationship to the world and to yourself is key. The most transformative tool that can change our emotional relationship the fastest is the words we choose to use. This is how we create change in our lives and in ourselves instead of returning to habitual reactions.

The two most powerful words you can begin using right this moment are ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Yes, creates opportunity for success. Yes, allows us to take risks and with risk comes the chance for opportunity and growth. No, creates space. No, keeps us focused on the success at hand. No, keeps the distractions away. Say yes to yourself! Give yourself the opportunity to become the person you want to be. Say yes to your own potential. Don’t let others speak for you! Don’t let you past speak for your present.  Don’t let those that abused you, judged you and bullied speak for your today! Say Yes to you and no to everything else that is holding you back.

What will you say yes to today?

How to create success:

  1. Change your words; your words shape your reality.
  2. Say yes; you deserve the opportunities that are set before you.
  3. Say No; you deserve to follow your own path.
  4. Do the work. It never has and never will happen by chance. Just talking about won’t achieve it.
  5. Have patience; the hard work, the stress and the failures will pay off.

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